Look, I know it’s been a tough winter but being homicidal and demented frustrated about another storm that is apparently approaching doesn’t help anyone. There’s always a liquor cabinet silver lining so think of winter’s 529 488th last snowfall as an opportunity to enjoy it. It’s all in the attitude, folks:
- Make naked snow angels while screaming, “F@$# you, winter!!”
- Thank the snow plow driver for his insistence on blocking you in yet again hard work this season with a friendly pellet gun wound to the forehead ‘thumbs-up’ from your front window.
- Drink bleach hot chocolate until you
dieget that warm glow in your stomach.
- Watch raptly as the BBQ fluffy snow whips around your back yard.
- Build a snowman and then smash it to #$%ing smithereens with a 2×4.
- Go for a long walk off a short pier wearing cement boots in the snow.
- Grab your snowshoes and set them on fire out for some trails.
- Mull the benefits of a toxic pharmaceutical cocktail some cider.
Yes sirree it’s been a doozy of a winter! Staying unconscious young at heart seems to be the secret to enjoying it. Good luck!